Advice from a Newport R.I. Wedding Planner... How do I make a LARGE room look small?

When my bride Pam booked the tent at Castle Hill for 50 guests I thought,
they are going to look like they are sitting in the middle of a football field!

The tent is designed to hold over 200 guests.

So I used a three tables pushed together in a clover leaf pattern to take up floor space. Very high topiaries were created to fill the space as well.

It worked like a charm, A luck charm that is!

Are you part of a Wedding Cult?

"Come on ...All of us are using that Photographer, Florist, Band and Videographer!"

Do you give in and go with them or find a vendor that really speaks to you?

As your planning your wedding you'll be faced with decisions that will last you a lifetime. Choosing a vender in your price range can be hard enough, but when friends and other venders get involved pressuring you it can be even harder.

Many friends just want to recreate or change the wedding day they had.

While venders who try to influence you to use a “friend” some times have a monetary incentive to do so.

I have heard of a group of venders that call them self’s

“The Dream Team” But who's dream is it ?

If you want your wedding to look like every one else’s... then that may be the right choice for you.

At The Newport Wedding Galey there are over 100 venders that showcase their work with no referal fees passed on to the managment.

THE NEWPORT WEDDING GALLERY
www.thenewportweddinggallery.blogspot.com

Advice From A Newport Wedding Planner... Should I wear a Garter ?

The garter tradition originated back to the 14th century. In parts of Europe the guests of the bride and groom believed having a piece of the bride’s clothing was thought to bring good luck. They would actually destroy the brides dress by ripping off pieces of fabric. Obviously, this tradition did not sit well with the bride, so she began throwing various items to the guests – the garter being one of them.

Another interesting custom dated back to the ancient times where the wedding garter represented the virginal girdle. When the groom removed the garter from the bride, this represented the bride’s relinquishment of her virginity.

An Old English custom was while the bride and groom were in their bridal chamber, the wedding guests would sneak into the chamber picking up discarded stockings and throwing them at the couple. Whoever flung a stocking that hung on the bride or groom’s nose, would be the next to marry.

Should you play the garter game in front of your guests?
I say save it for latter!
It's never done at Society Weddings

Advice from A Newport Wedding Planner Are "Wedding Groups" a good thing?

Wedding Groups "are committed to sharing referrals to increase revenue" for the membership.

As a wedding planner, I ethical can't join one of these groups.

I'm my clients vender match maker,
I work for the client not any groups membership.

My job as a planner is always to look for new talent and sevices for my data base.

The Newport Wedding Gallery is experiential marketing that gives brides a opportunity to engage and interact with vendors brands, products, and services in sensory way. When in the gallery I'm showcaseing the services of the members.

But when it comes to my clients at A Newport Affaire, their needs come first.

The Newport Wedding Gallery
ANewportAffaire.com

Advice From A Newport Wedding Planner....Think Out Side of the Box with your Bridal Registry

Bridal showers are helpful for girl who has never set up a proper home.

But with many couple getting married in their late 20's and early 30’s additional small appliances are the last thing they really need.

So why not think out side of the box with your Bridal Registry?

What do you really need?

A hardware store, a furniture store, a travel agent, or even a wedding vendor could be listed on your registry.

Naomi Raiselle of Generations Cinemastories told me a story how the brides maids and groomsmen chipped in to buy the couple videography services. It was something they wanted, but had to cut out of the budget.
The couple was so grateful and over joyed!
Naomi has even created gift certificates for the occasion the family or friends want to sponsor her services.

It sure beats another toaster!
www.generationscinemastories.com

Advice and Wisdom from a Maid of Honor

I am Kamil’s friend Kelly and I am delighted to have the pleasure of being her Maid of Honor. And here we are now, beginning your journey together as husband and wife.

As you embark on your adventure, I’d like to share some of my wisdom about marriage with you (limited as it may be, since Joe I recently reached the 3 year mark…). I am blessed with having the good fortune of garnering advice from my parents and my in laws – all of whom have shared long, fruitful marriages.

I’d like to share some of their advice with you. This advice was given to my husband and I on our wedding day and has already been helpful….

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created and nurtured. It takes work and a lot of attention!

In marriage the little things are the big things.
[Seriously – when my husband cleans the house – that’s big! When I thank him for that – that’s big too!]

It is at no time taking the other for granted, the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years. Try to remember this – schedule date nights, always make time for each other.

It is never being too old or hurried to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day and to really, really mean it! not just in that muffled way that we tend to without thinking about it

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It’s making a plan together and working as a team to reach your goals.

It is standing together facing the world and always, always, always having each other’s back.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers your two families together and in defining your own.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other, but cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old with certain knowledge that you’ll be there for each other forever.

Kamil and John - My wish for you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

Thanks Kelly for shaing this with us, it is great advice for a couple staring life together.

A slice of Princess Diana's wedding cake kept for 27 years in servant's attic reaps £1200

The age old question doe you save the top of the wedding cake and eat it on your year anniversary?
I say ...No! How silly to eat any thing that is a year old!
Order a 6 inch cake from your baker and have a get together with your bridal party and or parents.

10 Worst Wedding Toasts Ever from The Knot.com

1. "At a friend's wedding a few years ago, the best man made it apparent that he wasn't such a fan of the bride. The speech went something like this: '(Groom's name), man I love ya, you know I do. I hope you thought about this and that this is what you really, really, really want.' Then he said the bride's name, hit his fist against his chest twice, and pointed at her."

2. "A friend of mine from college got married, and his best man said in his speech: 'Finally John has found someone with low enough self-esteem to marry him.'"

3. "The maid of honor (the bride's sister) not only talked about herself during the whole speech, she also mentioned the possibility of an affair between herself and her sister's new husband."

4. "At my cousin's wedding, the best man ended his toast by saying he wanted the groom to know that he'd be there for him at his next wedding when this one didn't work out."

5. "The best man at a wedding I was in said during his toast, 'Congratulations to the new parents!' No one except a select few knew the bride was pregnant -- not even her parents!"

6. "I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the best man gave a toast about how cheap the groom was and how they'd been friends all their lives but the wedding was the first free meal he's ever been offered by the 'cheapskate.'"

7. "The father of the bride stood up and said, 'I'm Jill's dad. I just want to say that I met David before Jill did because of my other daughter.' And he sat down."

8. "My cousin gave a horrible toast at her younger sister's wedding a few years ago. She began by saying that she never liked her sister's new husband throughout high school and that 'today he's still at the level of slightly below the scum on the bottom of a dirty waste pond.'"

9. "I attended a wedding where the best man commented on how the bride used to work at Hooters (which her family didn't know about) and how he was jealous of the groom for 'bagging her.'"

10. "During the toast the groom's dad (after many drinks) said that he was so happy for his son and his beautiful wife Sara. But his wife's name wasn't Sara, his ex-girlfriend's was."

-- Miles Stiverson

10 Worst Wedding Toasts Ever from The Knot.com

Cash Bars...NOT

Cash bars are not okay at weddings. Inviting a guest to your wedding means that you are hosting them—as in, treating them—the entire time. You aren’t asking them to pay for their dinner, so you can’t ask them to pay for their own drinks.

If you’re on a tight budget, you do have some other options. Remember that what you serve at your event is ultimately your decision, and it’s fine to forgo liquor—it’s not required that you provide it to guests. You could also choose to serve only beer and wine, or even just champagne. Many couples are going with a signature cocktail: One mixed drink that is served to everyone, usually with a choice of beer and wine, as well. A tip to get the most out of alcohol if you do choose to serve it: Ask your bartender to measure drinks, rather than eyeball them. This tends to use less alcohol (and thus less bottles), saving you more.

From The Emily Post Institute

What Do You Charge?

Prices, packages, anything?
Is the request I receive via email the other day.
Here's my answer to this bride to be.
I do not have packaged pricing, for I am a special event consultant. With out doing an exploratory on what your goals and needs are, I don’t know how to help you or give you an accurate quote for the scope of the work. I am currently working on a wedding with a $10,000 budget and one with a $200,0000.
What's your budget?
What do you need help with?
&
How can I help you?
These are the kind of questions I answer.
Best,
Nancy
Newport Weddings

HoopSkirt101

I meet Rocco Michaluk while working on a wedding for a NY bride. I so enjoyed working with him that we co-produced a video called: Hoopskirt101(c)
The girlfriends guide to wearing a very large dress. With the help of Mrs Tinney at Belcourt Castle and a few wonderful friends, this "how to" video is dedicated to a Newport bride who will be wearing a "very large dress" next year!

I must say, I now have so much technical respect for craft of video and film making. When looking at the raw footage of HoopSkirt101, I just couldn’t figure out how to glue the footage, narration and music together. Rocco made it look so easy. He saw my vision and produced a perfectly wonderful video. Now I know why editing costs as much as it does. Its hours of hard work, skill and talent.
HoopSkirt101 is coming soon to a computer near you!

www.youtube.com

I will let you know when its up !


HoopSkirt 101 was produced by;

Video & Vision
rocco@videoandvision.com
www.videoandvision.com

Nancy Swiezy Events
www.ANewportAffaire.com

What would Jackie do?

From fashion to finance, a sophisticated and entertaining guide that shows readers how to attain the elegance and practical smarts that defined Jackie O.
We can't help but want to be like her: Exuding unmatched poise and style, she continues to fascinate people of all ages. But how would Jackie have handled the twenty-first century? What would she think about a society that celebrates outsized egos, instant everything and casual rules of conduct? How might she dress for the office, scan for a man, accessorize a home—and get away from it all when necessary? With intriguing research, commentary from today's experts, and fond reminiscences from those who knew and admired the First Lady of perfection, journalists Shelly Branch and Sue Callaway now offer a sparkling answer to the question “What Would Jackie Do?”

Shelly Branch is a very good friend from NYC who just "Gets It".
Im proud to have her as my friend.
This book is a hand book for any gal leaving the single life to launch her life as a Mrs.
http://www.whatwouldjackiedo.com/book.htm

The Differance between a "in house" planner and a independent planner

Question to a wedding planner
"I'm having a destination wedding at a venue that employs an in-house planner, and she hasn't consulted me on some decisions. How should I handle this?"

While the answer given was good, it was very much incomplete. Here's why; the answer didn't explain that perhaps what the bride was expecting the planner to do, wasn't at all her job. You see, an onsite (or in-house) planner is typically only responsible for things that happen onsite and that are relative to the site and its staff- and NOTHING else.

So, then what's the difference? I'm going to clear this up once and for all. The best way to find out what exactly your "included" planner will do...ask. Here are a few really good questions. And yes, the crazy seeming ones, I have actually had to do."Hello Onsite Planner, ! I have a few questions for you. Yes or no answers please."
Will you...
1. Call all the vendors on your preferred vendors list and see if they are available for my wedding and in my budget? And if not, will you get me 3 more options who are?
2. Create a budget for me for everything wedding day related?
3. Write and hand out both wedding party and guest list itineraries?
4. Compile all the goodies for the welcome bags and make sure all the hotels get them just before guests arrive?
5. Give me stationary and etiquette advice?
6. Keep my mother at the cocktail hour, far from me during photos, with a full gin and tonic and away from crazy Uncle Steve?
7. Schedule and attend all the vendor meetings with me?
8. Review all the contracts I'll have to sign?
9. Prepare a detailed timeline for my day as well as one for all the vendors working at my wedding?
10. Go out and find my new father-n-law size 12.5 brown leather lace free yet wedding appropriate shoes when his sole falls off during the ceremony and make sure that you're back in time for him to be introduced into the dinner reception?
11. Call and confirm all the vendors have been paid, are going to show up, if they need anything further, and that they do in fact know not to say anything about the surprise grooms cake.
12. Find a replacement tuxedo for the best man the morning of the wedding when it arrives blue and not black?
13. Help me create design options for my wedding?
14. Research and find favors, a unique escort card display and super cool fun things for my guests to do at my wedding?
15. Help me plan a welcome reception, grooms outing, bridesmaids luncheon, and rehearsal dinner? Oh, and a farewell brunch too? Oh, but not all at your site of course.
16. Figure out all the rentals I'll need, order them, and then oversee the installation?
17. Stay for the entire wedding and then check under every single table for lost shoes and purses after everyone leaves?
18. Run the rehearsal?
19. Email me when you find flip flops on clearance at Old Navy and then fight with them until they agree to send all 775 to you, even if it does clean out their stock?
20. Have an emergency kit prepared for me and my bridesmaids?
21. Make sure there are hsopitality baskets in the restrooms?
22. Politely explain to the make-up artist that my eyes look ridiculous so I don't have to feel awkward?"

Here is one thing I want to make perfectly clear- onsite planners or coordinators are wonderful and very helpful and are responsible for an enormous amount of work that you will never even realize. I just feel that its important to know that what an independent wedding planner such as myself does, is not what 95% of onsite planners do...2 different job descriptions.

This is a reprint from Kelly McWilliams Weddings by Socialites www.weddingsbysocialites.blogspot.com
Thnaks Kelly

Is there such thing as a Perfect $$$ Bag

Talking about money can be considered some what vulgar in certain social circles. So what’s a bride to do when her guests start showering her with envelopes ?
I advised one bride to have on hand a small Tiffany bag. This way it looked like some one simple gave her a gift. You could have a small tote bag made out of the fabric from your gown. Or for a garden wedding I'm suggesting my next bride to use a small Nantucket Basket.
Presentation boxes or displays for the checks?
Its just never done at society weddings.

Haggle with a Wedding Vender?

Do so....... At you own risk.

Haggling for a good deal may be great for you wedding budget,
but on the day of your wedding it could be very bad news for you and your guests.

Lets face it every bride likes a good deal.
Equally every vender wants to feel they are being economical valued.
But when a wedding vender drops their profit margin too far, so will your service.
Staying that extra hour just won’t be available to you.
An additional waiter or assaitaint to make your day run more smoothly… Gone.
That extra special gross of full blown heirloom roses just flown in from California, won’t be in your bouquet. So in order not to have disrupted employs working on day of your wedding.

Here’s a few suggestions.

Have clean contracts and know what the vender is committing to what services will be reduced with the change of price.

Don’t follow industry guidelines on what you should be spending on each vender.

Buy the best talent your money can buy in your top 3 categories.

I worked with one bride that hired a Rock Star photographer but used a regional Vidiographicor.
Every one got paid well and by using a local vender she saved over $5,000.

Having your wedding not on a Saturday night in the can open up your venue budget by almost 50%.

Have your maids carry tussie-mussie vs. a standard size bouquet.

Buy a brides maids dress in white can open up your budget for a pair of highly lusted after Jimmy Choo’s.

If you not wearing a large ball gown skip the costs of a limo and hail a cab like Rhoda Mogenstein.
(your Mother will know who she is!)

A smaller group of top quality performers are better than a So So large band.

So by make the right economic choices, your wedding day can be a Win Win !

Anyone can be a Wedding Planner….but my brides are simply not just anyone. “They have a life!”

says Nancy Swiezy of A New York and Newport Affaire.

My brides are putting in overtime so they can get ahead in there career.
They spend time with their favorite charities, improving their backhand, training for a marathon or simply socializing with their fiancé, friends and family.

The Poor Girl Syndrome
Middle class girls just don’t get it.
They all think they have to DIY (Do It Yourself )
Why would anyone want to look at 100’s of wedding vendors is beyond me.

The Rich Girl
Society girls have had it together for years, by hiring personal consultants for their wardrobe, homes, wedding and finances. Saving them time and thousands of dollars each year.

The Modern Girl
Wedding Planners are not just for the rich any more.
By taking 5 to 10% of budget will create piece of mind.
A wedding planner will find the best choices that reflect your style and budget.They can get the best value for you because they bring repeat business to vendors. I just negotiate $1700 off of a catering bill for my last client. My personal goal is to get at least of 50% of my fee back in products and services for my brides.

So Think about it and keep the quality of your life!
Hire a Wedding Planner.
.

Graciously Green Weddings

Im Jumping on the Green Wedding Band Wagon
with monthly updates at Newport Weddings.
It seams to be everywhere and it’s a good thing.

As a wedding planner I have worked on all kinds of wedding budgets
from struggling actors in New York City
to the Socity FAmilys in Newport RI.

I was fortunate to be brought up to be green by two thrifty parents that taught me the value of a dollar by doing it your self or simple having trust that I would eventually get my "wants" met .
The some of tools I have to share with you are buying the best quality you can afford on sale, off-season.
Do go to tag sales, antique shows and thrift shops, its like treasure hunting. My sister was able to buy a hand made couture-wedding dress for $75.00 in a hospital thrift shop. Its was a Win Win. For the donating bride, the hopital and my sister.

It’s not where you shop, but the quality you buy.
So think before you buy.
Don’t buy any thing for your wedding you can’t return.
Do think twice about silly wedding industry add ones or a plastic favors that will end up in a landfill.

Take your wedding budget and spend it on what will have the most impact for you, your guests and the environment.
Think Graciously Green

What should I wear to a Newport Wedding?

Newport has a great history of protocol and proper attire. So if you want to fit in at all the right places, here is a guideline on what to wear and when.

Formal Evening
After 6 pm Men white tie and tails, Ladies ball gown.
State Dinners and Balls have this dress code.

Formal Day
Before 6 pm Men morning suit, Ladies business dress, suit and a hat is always welcome.
Think of the movie Four weddings and a Funeral . White dinner jackets may be worn as well in the summer months.

Semi-Formal
PM Men black tie tux, and in the summer white dinner jacket may be worn and Ladies gowns or fancy cocktail dress.
For most Americans this is formal attire.
AM Men dress suit, Ladies "Sunday Best"

Black Tie Optional
I never under stood this; it’s a mix of Semi- Formal and Formal

Cocktail Attire
also known as Dress Casual or Smart casual
Men Suites, Ladies short cocktail dress

Yacht Club Attire
Men navy blazers and khakis,or bright green or red pants, Ladies summer tea dresses or summer suites
Lilly Pulitezer dresses and red white and blue is always a good choice

Sporting Attire
Appropriate to the sport
Please note that some clubs mandate" white only" on a playing field

White Dinner Jacket from www.brooksbrothers.com

Newport Weddings

Toastmaster

Perhaps you want to speak in front of your groom and 200 of your nearest and dearest.
Scared?
Public Speaking does not come easy to every one. Some grown men have even been known to even faint!

That’s why for over 80 years, Toastmasters International has been helping people with their public speaking needs. The site offers practical tips to guide you through almost any event involving an audience. Even a wedding! I once worked on a wedding were we lost over an hour of dancing because of rambling speeches.
So create and practice your speech that will be remembered forever with
www.Toastmaster.org

Plan your Newport Wedding using our Newport Wedding Planning Blog

I hope you enjoy this Newport Wedding Planning Blog.
It has been a great joy for me!
Nancy Swiezy
A Newport Affaire
www.anewportaffaire.com